This is a piece I wrote for the charity Working Families, as part of their 30th anniversary celebration, marked by the publication of Tomorrow's World, an anthology of perspectives on work-life balance.
Most of the pieces are well worth reading (apart from a few politicians posturing), and I decided to stay within their paradigm of the tension between "work" and "life", partly to speak honestly about my own 20 year history of balancing productivity, play and parenting. But regular Play Ethic readers will see my familiar agendas surfacing at the end... As usual, all comments welcomed.
Work, family and the dance towards a 'play ethic'
Pat Kane
I guess I won't be the only contributor to this volume who's writing this piece under the very same wobbly conditions of 'work-life balance' that is our chosen topic.
In my case, I'm getting to grips with this piece as the school holidays begin: I'm four days over what (I hope) was a soft deadline. My daughter's been getting out of school at 12.15pm the last couple of days (was that a surprise announcement? Yes!). So I've had a few frantic mornings trying to master the inbox of self-managed tasks that face the average cultural freelancer. At the very least, this lifestyle demands clarity and efficiency when you actually do sit down in front of your interface.
After years of good and bad experiences, I've realised that I'm happiest when I can devote my energies fully to either 'work' or 'life' – however unsatisfactory those terms are - with as little overlap between the two realms as possible. Meaning that when my daughter emerges from the school gates, or after-school club, all of my affections and attentions are hers. And the best way to ensure that psychic commitment is to ensure that the anxieties of one's project-driven life are actually - or if necessary, forcibly - abated.
The necessity of a calm and tranquil mind (and heart, if possible) in the face of one's children also comes from a somewhat bumpy personal road. Post our separation eight years ago, my ex-wife and I made a binding pact to ensure that our children never had any sense of lacking access to either parent. We split our fortnight of care equally, weaving between each others' nearby households, allowing each other evenings and alternate weekends to sustain friendships and relationships (in different cities – Glasgow and London). But we've come together to ensure that none of our children ever returned to an empty house.
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